Going Natural, The Mental Aspect


by Jarmelia of DIY Hair Care Blog

For many women the decision to rock their natural hair can come with much anxiety and fear. After wearing straight hair or weaves majority of our lives, the sense of uncertainty that comes with going natural is actually understandable and quite natural. Going natural isn’t just a physical change but, a mental one as well.

If your hair has been straight all of your life, you’ve obviously grown accustomed to seeing your self that way. Being that, curly hair and straight hair are opposites, picturing yourself with a head full of curls can and does take some getting used to. Here are some tips to help the transition from straight to curly go a little smoother and prevent you from getting sticker shock after the Big Chop!

Going Natural Is about More than a Hair Style Join forums, read blogs, watch youtube and just surround yourself with images of naturally curly women! Remember to find women of all hair types because until you actually go natural, you won’t know what kind of curls you have!

Don’t ask for opinions. What? Yes. Don’t ask your grandma what she thinks of your hair, if you know she does not like the natural look. You’re only going to set yourself up for disappointment and frustration. Make the choice to go natural for you and only you! You don’t need approval from others; it’s YOUR hair!

Don’t give into negative energy. Yes, it’s true curly hair is not the top standard of beauty and many women and men still prefer straight hair but, don’t dwell on that. Don’t let the fear of what other people may think keep you from enjoying your curls. You may be surprised to find out that your natural hair may not be the topic of the conversation at the dinner table after all.

Want to go natural, but scared? See what Jenell has to say!

Love YOUR hair. Admiring other curls and kinks is fine but, don’t start   you get curls like someone else. We all are unique and have unique hair, you curls may be tighter or looser than you expect but, that’s okay. Just learn the best styles and techniques for your hair.

Accepting your hair is just that, accepting your hair. If you have other problems with self acceptance, don’t try to hide behind having natural hair. Self acceptance means more than accepting your curly hair, you’re more than your hair. It’s a great start but, learn to accept your looks totally, especially what you can’t change.

Also, going natural doesn’t mean you will need to wear more makeup or bolder jewelry. Just be you. You don’t need any extras. When you’re healthy and joyful that’s beautiful!

What helped you accept your natural hair?

There are 13 comments

Add yours
  1. Gail S.

    Hey Ladies!!!

    I thoroughly enjoyed this post.  My last relaxer was May 23 2012 and I’m currently wearing kinky twist extensions.  I made the decision to go natural with two and half (the third one is still unsure of how long she’ll last…lol) of my older cousins.  And I think taking this journey with them is going to be soooo awesome… They call me the natural hair connoisseur because I’m the one reading all of the blogs and watching all of the youtube videos.  One of the things that worried me is that I’ve never been the big jewelry, make up wearing, type…yet everyone that I c going natural or is already natural has that look…one of my cousins even mentioned to me that I need to get my jewelry and make up game up and I was like WAHHHT?? Thats too much for me…lol…baby steps…but I think its awesome that you mentioned to BE YOU…so thats what i’ll do…gloss it up…silver hoops…and my natural curls…like it or love it…i love me and thats all that matters! SMOOCHES!

    PS Now if i can just get this weight under control…i would be SMASHIN’ lol

  2. Candy Coated Cashmere

    Knowing that I wouldn’t have to endure chemical burns helped me accept going Natural 🙂

  3. Ediebnatural1

    Hi Jenell. ;0) Thank you! This video really helped me to think about how I will feel emotionally when the comments are expressed. I’ve already done a bantu knot-out on my relaxed hair, it was super curly when I took it down, and it looked natural. I rocked it at a family event and my family members were pleasantly surprised and very accepting. I learnt that day that my aunt and my cousin are both going natural as well. It made me feel really good to know that I’m in good company! Watching the youtube videos and seeing beautiful black women everywhere I turn now is causing me to know that I’ve made a great decision. I’m journaling every step of the way. ;0) Your website is a fabulous, encouraging, and informative addition to my transition period and beyond! You rock! BLESSINGS!

  4. Dominga Changingthegame Joseph

    I did the BC on Saturday, 29 September 2012, and I have never felt more liberated! At first, I was taken aback by my TWA (lol), but when I woke up the next morning to my natural curls all over my head, I felt extra beautiful. The fact that I don’t have to worry about when I get my next perm and having thin hair makes it all worth it. Plus I really love my ethnicity’s natural pattern because we are so versatile and that makes me extremely proud!

  5. devans00

    Thanks for the encouraging post, Jenell. I big chopped on May 15, 2013, less than a month ago. I’ve had pressed or relaxed hair as long as I remember, over 30 years. I’m so amazed by my natural curls every day. I wish I’d done this a decade ago. I’m in for the long term.

    I’m still in the phase of figuring out what works for my hair. It’s funny how many curly heads I notice these days. Women and men of all ages and ethnicities. Everything from shaved heads to teeny weeny afros to waist length twists & curls. Have they always been around?

  6. Tanisha Winfrey

    The most frustrating thing for me is the frizz!!! When I’m finally able to get a cute style (I’m learning to do my hair, whe. I had a perm all I could do was a wrap and ponytail) it frizzed and shrinks like crazy. The style dies!!!

    • devans00

      Now that 9 months have passed since my big chop, I actually have an opinion.

      The best way to deal with frizz is to accept that your hair is different from when it was chemically relaxed. Instead of your hair being the same texture from root to end, it may have 2 or more textures. My hair tends to be fuzzy (I like that word better than frizzy) for the first 1-3 inches, then it forms curls, waves and spirals. All my hair feels the same even though it looks different.

      Adding curl defining gels, cremes and other hair products only makes the fuzzy part shorter. It never totally goes away. I could get upset that the spirals and waves don’t start at my scalp. I’d rather accept that’s how my hair comes out of my head and work with what I got.

      Take care.

      • Tanisha Winfrey

        Thanks!!! I’m slowly trying to accept that. My hairs gets “fuzzy” at the ends first. Especially in the back. I need to work on my styling thou. I had my last perm in sept or oct 2012. I got pregnant and ended up getting really sick (drs think lupus) and my hair started to fall out after I delivered. Idk why, maybe b/c I wasn’t taking care of it like I should when I was sick, or postpartum shedding, or some of the meds. It has stopped but my hair is thinner and I lost a lot of length. My hair is a little past my shoulders now but it is thinner at my crown which makes styling hard sometimes.

        • devans00

          The hormones related to childbirth are really unpredictable. I’ve heard of women’s hair changing color, new allergies, metabolism speed up/slow down and other unexpected body changes. If I remember correctly, hair loss is one of the common post pregnancy changes.

          Some changes are permanent, some are temporary. I guess that’s the price for the privilege of giving birth. : )

  7. Teresa D Simmons

    Ive been natural for over 5 years and still struggle with what my hair likes, product wise. However, my hair is very healthy and for that I am satisfied.

  8. Surreal007

    I love my curly hair… the day I wash it, but when I wake up the next day it has shrunk, or it looks dry or frizzy. I then need to step in the shower and get the tips wet to weigh them down. Most days I wake up and have to get my daughter ready for school, leaving almost no time for my personal grooming before I’m out the door. So, I get conscious of looking like a mad woman with my hair undone. During the cold Chicago winters, I just feel like having to wet my hair and let it “air dry” in the freezing cold would give me a head cold. Any suggestions of products or simpler night routines that can help with shrunk/frizzy hair day 2 or 3 after a wash?

  9. Roy-yunna Thomas

    So I’ve only done my big chop 4 months ago but my natural journey for a year now. Even though am still fighting with products and styles for my hair I absolutely love it. I seem to have two different coil patterns, the back looser than the front but am learning

Comments are closed.